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*'''[[The Soap Maker]]''', pretentious jerk
*'''[[Tim Barthalamue Silversmith Patterson]]''', mostly harmless
*'''[[William Gromthor]]''', --<s>tree-hugger-- </s> cave-hugger
*'''[[Kitty]]''', The bestest kitten ever!
**'''[[Mister Blu]]''', administrator
**'''[[Mister Bojo]]''', dog
**--<s>'''[[Mister Tweet-tweet]]''', deceased [[canary]]--</s>
**'''[[Nathaniel Siddall]]''', selfish jerk
**'''[[Orval Dean]]''', Blacksmith/Hobbyist Philosopher
**'''[[Quinton Canclini]]''', Professional Soldier and Self-Professed "Explosives Expert"
**--<s>'''[[The Right Honorable Lord James Ascension]]''', dead goose--</s>
**'''[[The Right Honorable Lord James Ascension II]]''', hyper-intelligent goose
**'''[[Thomas Kilder]]'''